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Because there are so many different sects of Christianity and degrees to which Christians practice the faith, the subject of dating as a Christian can bring up a lot of questions. For example, how do you find a partner who shares your beliefs? How do you remain true to your faith while searching for a match? And what do you do if you feel discouraged on your dating journey?
While every Christian is unique and entitled to their own beliefs, we’ve created a guide with some Christian dating advice to help those who are wondering how to approach dating as a Christian. Whether you’re just starting to date for the first time or looking for tips on strengthening your current Christian relationship, follow along for some helpful tips.
Perhaps the first step toward learning how to approach dating as a Christian involves reflecting on your relationship with God. Many Christians find peace and comfort in developing a pure connection with God, in which they pray to Him and seek His counsel.
Exploring your connection with God can help enhance your self-discovery, build your inner strength, and clarify your values and morals. It may also provide you with guidance and give you insight into how and what you want and expect from a romantic relationship.
When figuring out how to approach dating as a Christian, many study this passage: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”—Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version (NKJV)
This passage is a reminder that having faith in God is what will guide you through life. The message encourages you not to stress, worry, or question God’s plan for you, but rather trust in His ability to lead you to the perfect spouse. This mindset can help take the pressure off of you as you can rest assured God has something special in store for you.
Christians believe that not only is it necessary to trust God’s plan, but it’s also essential to trust His timing. As much as you may want to meet the love of your life, get married, and start a family this very instant, you need to be patient. Don’t rush into a relationship or do things out of desperation for the sake of getting married ASAP.
Instead, focus on the other things in your life that bring you joy, like your friends, family, career, hobbies, and faith. Only then, when the time is right, will God lead you toward the right person.
Some sectors of Christianity dissuade Christians from dating nonbelievers, as they encourage being evenly “yoked.” To support this viewpoint, they often turn to the passage: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”—2 Corinthians 6:14
However, according to some denominations and beliefs, dating as a Christian doesn’t necessarily have to mean dating other Christians. In fact, there are many Christian daters who are open to and welcome interfaith dating.
That said, it’s up to you to decide whether dating non-Christians is something you’re willing to explore and/or is permissible in your church. Knowing this will help you determine how and who you want to date.
Setting boundaries is another crucial piece of Christian dating advice. Doing so helps you stay aligned with your values and standards. For instance, if you believe in refraining from sexual encounters until you’re married, don’t let your guard down just because you really like someone. And if that’s the case, avoid situations that might compromise your desire to engage in that kind of intimacy, such as sharing a bed or spending the night with your partner until you’re married.
Not only is it important for you to set and commit to your boundaries, but it’s equally important for you to find a partner who respects those boundaries. If you’re with someone who is always pushing you to go beyond what you’re comfortable with or nudging you to ignore your values, they may not be a suitable partner for you.
In addition to setting boundaries and expectations, it’s a good idea to determine your non-negotiables. For you, that might mean you’re unwilling to date someone who doesn’t share the same religious and political views as you. For someone else, they may draw the line at dating someone who is divorced or who doesn’t want to raise a family.
If there are certain values or qualities that go against your preferences or your faith, it helps to recognize these now so you don’t wind up dating someone who ultimately isn’t compatible with you.
If you’re interested in a Christian relationship, consider looking for opportunities where you might find other single Christians. For example, you could join a Christian dating website, attend events at your church, and join church retreats. There are even some single ministries and churches that host events for Christian singles to help encourage mingling.
Putting yourself in situations where you’ll meet other Christians looking for love is a great way to meet others with similar goals and values.
In the Christian faith, many believe in dating for the sole purpose of finding someone to marry. If this is the case for you, then it’s essential to date with intention. This typically means getting serious about finding someone who is marriage material and shares the same values and beliefs. It also involves avoiding distractions that veer you away from your mission and not wasting your time dating people who do not align with your preferences.
When you focus on mindful dating, you can be more deliberate about who you decide to entertain in your life.
From social media to Hollywood, there are a lot of influences out there that can make it challenging to date as a Christian. Maybe you’re feeling pressured to dress a certain way that goes against your beliefs. Or perhaps you’re questioning the intimacy boundaries you’ve set for yourself because you’re not having luck on the dating apps.
The modern dating world, paired with an often oversexualized culture, can create all sorts of temptations and distractions, but it’s crucial to stay true to yourself and your faith. If you’re struggling, some Christians turn to this passage for guidance: “Lead [me] not into temptation but deliver [me] from evil.”—Matthew 6:13.
Communication is the key to a healthy Christian relationship. Talk about your faith with those you date, and discuss the role religion will play in your relationship and your future. For example, have conversations about what church you’ll attend and whether you plan to go to church every Sunday. How will you maintain or strengthen your relationship with God as a married couple? And how involved do you hope to be in the church community? Having open discussions about the importance of Christianity in your lives will help ensure you’re on the same page.
If you’re interested in building a strong Christian relationship, look for ways to practice your spirituality with your partner. That might mean setting aside time each evening to read the Bible together, joining a Bible study group, attending church, and even going to see your favorite Christian rock band perform. These activities will help you form a stronger connection and enhance your relationship with God.
If you’re looking for Christian dating advice, turn to those who you trust and admire in your religious community. That might mean your pastor, priest, Christian counselor, or a member of your church. We also recommend turning to your loved ones and close friends to help ensure you’re on a happy and healthy path toward finding love.
Between trusting God’s plan and timing, exploring opportunities where you’ll meet like-minded Christians, and staying true to your guiding principles, you’re doing all the right things to find your match. Therefore, there’s no use in stressing over dating or putting undue pressure on yourself. Have faith in the process and try to enjoy the journey toward finding true love.
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